Spring - is almost in the air...

Today was better - much better - I'm not sure why.

This whole week I've been feeling suffocated and unmotivated - but I woke up this morning excited to go to class. Maybe it is because Spring is in the air - barely - but it's there - maybe it's because my apt. is super clean - so it feels like there is space - maybe (and probably) it's because I'm finally taking steps to join AFTRA - and then EQUITY and this awful "not getting seen" business will be over - but I woke up - excited and happy.

I went to Patti's class. Patti asked me how I was - and I said - a little too excited that Johnny Weir's coach was in class - and Patti said "Stephane e-mailed me the other day." I wouldn't be surprised if Stephane never e-mailed her - but she just gets a kick out of seeing my reaction - lol - girlish teenaged screaming and bouncing. I apparently had a good class - Patti gave mucho complements - which makes the SECOND time this week a teacher gave me compliments about theatre dance class. (Nancy my ballet teacher apparently saw me in a class - and told me I looked really good and that my legs looked really long doing that style. lol.) Nancy's compliment was especially meaningful - since she doesn't exactly dole out the compliments - she is notorious for being brutally honest.

(side note - speaking of teachers who who are brutally honest - Yoda was wearing a t-shirt yesterday which said "I'm sorry. I forgot you were an idiot." Laughter was had by all.:))

I met with three wonderful roommate possibilities. I still hope JP will work out - but if he doesn't - there is hope! Fingers crossed.

Being "put-in"

Alright - new plan. Any of the research and original ideas I had about my character apparently are useless - and I have to view this entire show as a "put in" - as though I were an understudy going on - since apparently the only direction I get is "immitate me" or "Imitate her" - so - instead of having brilliant ideas and coming up with my own Tzeitel - I will take this as "put in" practice -heck - it I had replaced Ariel - I would have to do exactly what Sierra did - so I guess here I have to do exactly what some imaginary human in the director's head did - and come up with my own motivations for why I must pick up a candlestick here - and gesture there - or spend the entire scene yelling/ (Seriously - what director says - now in this scene I want you to yell. Yell more. Yell more! - or "and now I want you to cry" - and completely foregoes any sort of motivation or understanding of the scene - what the characters want and/or are trying to achieve - and figure out the best way of getting it. "Cry now" is possibly the worst direction in the history of directing. GAH! So - I have to be me - in Woman in White - explaining to the understudies - WHY they have to cry here - and come up with the motivation and explain it and get it out of them - only them is me - if that makes any sense.) Soooooooooooooooooooo frustrating. I don't even get to stand how feels natural. I have to imitate Golde - who is shaped NOTHING like me - it's not even possible for me to stand like her - other than both being female - there is nothing in common - she is about 4'10 - maybe 200 pounds? Smuggles watermelons. Short arms compared to her torso. I have ridiculously long skinny arms, 5'6 (yes boys and girls - I was officially measured - I come in at 5'5 and 3/4.) - 130 pounds - smuggle apricots - small oranges at best - definitely not watermelons - I look ridiculous trying to walk and stand like Golde. But hey - if it was a put in - I'd have to do it. What a fabulous opportunity to practice being put in for a lead. Who knows - I might have to do it one day.

I have to learn to keep my director and my actress separate - but sometimes - it is harder than others.

Low Key Tzeitel Week

No rehearsals since Wednesday. Very uneventful Tzeitel week. Worked on matchmaker some in my living room. Trying to get the "Yente" impersonation down - and get comfortably with my low "manly" tones. (These are quickly being a huge joke - even mothers around my dance studio- who hear me sing as I buff floors - will say something like I hear you are an alto two - can you even talk that low?) Oh dear Oh dear. The notes are getting there though - the key is to relax into them!:)

1.3 and 1.6

Today's rehearsal was interesting - as about twenty seconds before I walked in the door - I got a call from the boy playing Motel saying he had suddenly fallen ill and wouldn't be coming in. This was going to make my job for the a wee bit more difficult - as we were supposed to block all of our scenes together - including what is supposed to be my penultimate emotional moment where I beg my father to let me marry Motel instead of Lazar Wolf. I walk in and tell the stage manager Motel won't be coming (and we are both confused as to why he called me and not her), and look over my script. During which time I realize - Tevye isn't there either. So - essentially we didn't block the doozy of a scene - because it would be me with two imaginary actors.

We did block a scene and a half though - and I think they went very well. The director wants me to mimick Golde more - which is daunting. Golde is not a Disney Princess. I have perfected the Disney princess - old poor Russian Jewish mother of the lat late 19th early 20th century...not so much. I think I made some progress though - which made me happy. Apparently I did a good job of look as though I were about to burst into tears as well - which is good. Crying on cue is another obstacle of mine. I'm sure I can do it - I just get so afraid and heady that I tense up and end up phoning in an untruthful performance. We want to relax - and let - (as Stephane Lambiel so eloquently said) - my true sprit shine through. (I credit Stephane with that - but really Mary tells it to me in every lesson as well - in those exact words.)

So over all pretty productive rehearsal. Everyone is nice, kind, giving, supportive, and the environment feels safe and comfortable. Which is exactly what you want.

The Dream and Sabbath Prayer

Got to see "The Dream" on it's feet for the first time. Very impressive. I love that scene. I think it is one of the greatest musical theatre scenes of all time.

We blocked "Sabbath Prayer" which really wasn't too tough - I stand still and contemplate the Sabbath.

I even made it home in time to watch the final 12 ladies in skating! HOOOORAY!

Miracle Worker

The actor playing Motel acquired free tickets to see THE MIRACLE WORKER on Broadway starring Abigail Breslin (of Little Miss Sunshine movie fame.) We went as a Tzeitel Motel bonding exercise.

The show was stupendous and I highly recommend you go if you get a chance. Beautifully designed and directed and stupendously performed. I loved and felt very deeply for each and everyone of the characters - and tears definitely welled up in my eyes when Helen learned to spell "water."

That being said - a pretty laid back low key Fiddler weekend. Just worked a bit on the low "belt." I have to remember that belting is not NASAL it is CHEST. My yiddish accent for the Yente impersonation definitely needs work.

Also - our tickets have officially gone on sale - so be sure to buy yours soon! www.vlog.org

Get 'em while they're hot!:)

Blocking Day 1

First day of blocking - Act I.i I forgot how difficult it is to act honestly and truthfully while everyone is running around with scripts and pencils in hand - trying to remember where to move and when.

It was the first day I was disappointed in my work. I had done all my homework, was off-book, and literally had a voice lesson a few hours prior where we worked on the music. I just got very nervous and self conscious and reverted to my "safety" tricks - or what Mary calls - my "bullshit." Bad acting, poor pitchy singing (and of course busting into high soprano instead of chest voice), and wooden movements.

Oh well, what can you do. It's the first day of blocking - there is lots of room for improvement!:)

Tradition part 2.

We finished blocking TRADITION today. It was a relatively uneventful and smooth rehearsal. Cast members members are doing a good job picking up the choreography quickly - the traffic patterns are especially confusing - especially since we were missing several cast members - but everyone buckled and in and rose the the challenge.

I still keep slipping up to soprano on the chorus parts. It's such a brain challenge (and vocal challenge) to stay low. My voice just feels so happy up high. Singing so low feels like I am wrestling with it - and it is winning. Still a good challenge.

Everyone is really nice and really helpful and supportive of one another. All good things.

Production Team Assignments

Part of being in VLOG is that we have to donate 20 hours of time to the production end of the show - sets, costumes, props, and the like. I was assigned to publicity.

I wonder if I can convince anyone to start a Video Blog (Ironically called a VLOG) or since they seem gung-ho and getting senior centers to come - doing promotional events at senior centers or educational events with synagogue children - teach them the opening dance to TRADITION or something similar. My inner artistic director is bursting out.

I also had my weekly voice lesson with my teacher Mary. Worked on the alto 2 harmonies, which she agreed were challenging for me - but also a blessing that I get to learn how to harmonize in such a safe setting. I'm sure it was a funny sight however, me prancing about her living room doing the choreography and singing alto two whilst she sang the other parts and had to keep stopping saying - no - you're slipping into soprano again - remember it's down here - "Here comes the bride!" (My part in TRADITION is actually the same tune as Here Comes The Bride - if I think that instead of TRADITION I can usually stay on the right notes. I admire altos everywhere! My hat truly goes off to you!:)

TRADITION! (And some vanity mixed in)

We actually started to block tradition today! I get to be front and center whenever the "daughters" sing - I have to admit - it's tough not to smile the entire time - Tzeitel - come front and center. (My heart leaps about like --- hrmmmm what leaps about - a corgi on a farm during a brisk cool day?)

VLOG is not known for the incredible dancing ability of it's members. They are primarily a SINGING organization. Every time we learn a dance - I gain a new respect for what my fellow dancers do on a daily basis. We take things such as being able to hold your arms above your head, standing on one foot, touch your toes, twirling around, completely for granted. For the normal population these are challenging tasks, and I would say the group is doing just fine. Additionally, mad props to them for picking up on the choreography so quickly. I must admit it is taught quite quickly - even for me - and I'm used to this! (At one point the choreographer did ask me if I had ever done the choreography before - I said no. I will take this as a compliment that I was picking up quickly and accurately - two challenges I have been working on.

We were also introduced to Marisa Jo - our "dance captain" of sorts. (She is not in the show as a dance captain usually is - more of an assistant choreographer - who doenst choreograph - just helps teach. I know her from Steps! That was a fun discovery!

They cast two youngest daughters today - two children to play Sprhintze and Bielke. (I played Sprhintze at Benjamin School!) The girls went around asking people who they were playing - they got to me - and smile and said "I know who you are! You are Tzeitel." Insert - Corgi/farm/brisk day heart here.

Very vainly, I love rehearsals because I get to feel like a star for three hours a day - very different from cleaning floors or catering to the three year olds at birthday parties or waiting in rooms to not be seen at auditions or feeling large and clumsy in dance class. I get to feel beautiful and talented and wonderful. I hope the feeling continues.

Snow, Shtetls, and pogroms.

The rehearsal today is snowed out. Sadness. So instead I'm listening to the recordings I made last night of the alto 2 harmonies. I'm still really skeptical that my voice sounds nice in this lower register - it feels really hard, almost as though I'm fighting with it. I guess I have to learn it sometime - and this is baptism by fire.

Also doing some research on the not so pleasant "pogroms" of the late 19th early 20th century. I must confess, that even though I was a history major in college, and took a very wonderful course on Russian through the end of the Czars, I did not know what the word "pogrom" meant. So - I looked it up.

Merriam-Webster's definition is: an organized massacre of helpless people; specifically : such a massacre of Jews

Wikipedia's definition is: The term pogrom as a reference to large-scale, targeted, and repeated antisemitic rioting saw its first use in the nineteenth century.

It seems strange that wikipedia would have a more detached definition, but that is beside the point.

Apparently, the main slew anti-Jewish Pogroms began in 1881 after Czar Alexander II was assassinated. There were 15 assassins involved in the plot, ONE of whom was Jewish, the rest Christian. In such situations, people tend to create a scapegoat and a distinct "other" or "enemy" and in this case, the Russian press pushed the Jews under the wagon. While some pogroms were spontaneous, most of them were apparently incited by the Russian authorities. (Hence the constable in FIDDLER warning Tevye about a possible pogrom - which sadly would take place on Tzeitel's wedding day - during the wedding.)

I found a lovely engraving of a pogrom - where the Russian beat and poke and stab the Jews with pitchforks, canes, and brooms, whilst cossacks on horseback beat them with batons. Thousands of Jews were killed during these pogroms - and it does not look like a fun or glamorous death. It also seems a bit like the Nazis during WWII, where the cossacks claimed they were just "following orders" not anything they themselves believed in. Oh - how noble. (This is even illustrated during Fiddler, when the constable tells Tevye his is sorry for the bad timing of the pogram, it was not his decision, he is just following orders.)

This being said, it makes, in my opinion, Fyedka's decision to go against orders and break from the cossacks all the more noble. I wonder how different Fyedka is from the others throughout the play, and if this alters how Tzeitel would interact with him and view Chava's decision to marry him.

It does not seem like pogroms happened on a daily basis, but there was a fear of them. i suppose it would be similiar to walking down an empty street in Harlem alone on a dark night. You're probably safe, but be on alert, just in case. Try to stay invisible. There is US and there is THEM and just try to stay out of trouble and conflict.

I'm doing my research a little backwards. I also had to learn what the the shtetls were where these progroms were being held.

Well - as you may or may not know - "Fiddler on the Roof" takes place in a fictional town called Anatevka - (somewhere near Kiev Ukraine) in a condensed time period of 1880-1905. (The bulk of pogroms and relocation of Jews were near 1880, but other events allude to 1905 - so it's like Shakespeare's "Titus Andronicus" let's put the whole of the Roman Empire into 1 month.)

So - what is a Shtetl. "Shtetl" is the Yiddish word for "town." Apparently they were communities of orthodox jewish people who speak Yiddish and speak in a rhetorical style rooted in Talmudic learning. From what I can discern nearly everyone in the Shtetl was extremely poor and therefore - philanthropy between people thrives - everyone helped out where they could.

(From life is with people: the culture of the Shtetl by Zborowski and Herzog):

The shtetl operates on a communal spirit where giving to the needy is not only admired, but expected and essential:

The problems of those who need help are accepted as a responsibility both of the community and of the individual. They will be met either by the community acting as a group, or by the community acting through an individual who identifies the collective responsibility as his own... The rewards for benefaction are manifold and are to be reaped both in this life and in the life to come. On earth, the prestige value of good deeds is second only to that of learning. It is chiefly through the benefactions it makes possible that money can "buy" status and esteem.

This approach to good deeds finds its roots in Jewish religious views, summarized in Pirkei Avot by Shimon Hatzaddik's "three pillars":

On three things the world stands. On Torah, On service [of God], And on acts of human kindness.

This does make a lot of sense within the context of FIDDLER. Everyone does seem to help out when they can - grudges exist - but seem to be overlooked and overcome in times of trouble. (Lazar Wolf DOES offer five Sabbath chickens to Tzeitel - after he is rejected for Motel.) Everyone does work to please God - they do what they feel God would want them to do - none of the Jews are malicious or greedy - just hopefully - accepting - and hard working.

I found this excerpt interesting too:

Material things were neither disdained nor extremely praised in the shtetl. Learning and education were the ultimate measures of worth in the eyes of the community, while money was secondary to status. Menial labor was generally looked down upon as prost, or prole. Even the poorer classes in the shtetl tended to work in jobs that required the use of skills, such as shoe-making or tailoring of clothes. The shtetl had a consistent work ethic which valued hard work and frowned upon laziness. Studying, of course, was considered the most valuable and hard work of all. Learned yeshiva men who did not provide bread and relied on their wives for money were not frowned upon but praised as ideal Jews.

Tevye likes to THINK of himself as a very learned man - and I think his family regards him as one. Motel is NOT a learned man - but he does work a job that provides a useful service - tailoring. He is also in "the poorer classes" of the shtetl - so - Tzeitel is - very poor. (It does not say where "Dairy Man" falls in this caste system.)

The Jewish Virtual Library provided me with this useful bit of information:

The Home

The home of the individual was the basic unit in the culture and life style of the shtetl; it was founded on a patriarchal and closely knit structure on traditional lines. His home was the place where the shtetl Jew enjoyed his Yidishkeyt in the serenity and peace of Sabbath, in the rituals of the Passover seder, or in the dignity and holiness of the High Holidays. It was where he derived the nakhes – the proud pleasure – from the achievement of his children, the son, or the son-in-law. There he fed the stranger on Friday, and provided meals to the poor student in the yeshivah. However the home was also part of the community, and hardly any important activity at home was separable from the synagogue or the total community. Birth and death, bar mitzvahs and weddings, illness and recovery, were family events which tied the home to the synagogue, and by extension to the community. No family event was a private event, for life in the shtetl was life with people, and therefore part of the total community life. Family joys, as well as family sorrows, were shared by the community, which had the right and duty to express its approval or disapproval about the conduct and behavior of the family as a whole or of each of its members. Thus community control over the life of its individual members became one of the major regulating forces in the shtetl society, which succeeded in surviving for centuries without a police force to maintain its internal law and order.

I was always just thought that the characters in FIDDLER were stereoptyped caricatures of gossipy Jews always up in everyone's business. Knowing that everyone's "Private" business was actually the business of the synagogue gives it a whole new meaning. It also makes it all the more important to lead an honorable philanthropic life - abiding by all the laws that would make one a "good Jew." No secrets here. I don't think this created a sense a paranoia or annoyance - but more of compassion - and drive towards living by the Talmud.

In my research I learned that women were very often both the man AND woman of the household. Since learning was so revered - men would often go study, while women earned money AND did the household chores. They were also pregnant for most of their childbearing years - so - it was no easy task being a woman! Additionally, apparently men could file for a divorce for any reason at any time - and the woman would be powerless. Usually the crime was "rebelliousness" or inability to bear children.

Regarding education - women of Tzeitel's generation would have been education enough to read Tiddish. Apparently there were special schools throughout the Russian empire where they could go and the wealthiest would even learn foreign languages. These are mentioned in "TEVYE THE DAIRYMAN." Tevye mentions that these school exist but he is too poor to send any of this girls there. However, he does the best he can and tries to get tutors to come to the house - tutors such as Perchik.

The virtual Jewish Library also mentions this:

"Seductive secularization" gradually led to ruptures within traditional society well into the first three decades of the 20^th century. The most extreme form of rejection was conversion to Christianity and marriage with Christian partners; not surprisingly, women constituted a disproportionate number of Jewish converts in the late 19^th century. Another venue of rebellion was to join a revolutionary movement. Women participated actively in the Bund, various branches of the Zionist movement, as well as general Russian and Polish socialist groups.

This would relate to Chava and inform how we all react to her running off. In the book - Chava DOES indeed convert to Christianity. It is not mentioned in the play. I wonder what we will decide - and how we will treat the issue. My modern day mind says Tzeitel would be ok with it - but perhaps that observation is anachronistic.

Well that's enough Russian Jewish history for now. Hope you learned something.

Music Rehearsal

Just kidding! Today was a music rehearsal, not the day we blocked TRADITION! It was a pretty standard music rehearsal, and pretty easy as far as my part was concerned. I only had to sing in two songs! The other chorus numbers are - well - about me - so I don't sing in them - that would just be weird and awkward.

They auditioned the solo of girl number 2 in the song THE RUMOR during this rehearsal. I was so thankful I didn't have to audition. It looked os nerve wracking! They taught the bit right there then had all the girls without solos thus far sing one by one, then they selected a handful they liked best (akin to callbacks) ,and then selected the soloist. In front of everyone ! EGAD! I was so nervous just watching it. The girl they selected was hysterical and completely deserved it. Bravo to her.

There is supposed to be a huge snow storm tonight, so we got out early. So far not a snowflake has fallen, but there is still time. The future is a mystery.

A (not so) brief introduction to Tzeitel as a character

I think now would be a good time to introduce you to Tzeitel. Or at least - surface level Tzeitel - as there is still three months of Tzeitel to discover. These are relatively early observations made from both the script and the source book - Tevye the Dairyman by Sholem Aleichem, and of course - my own imagination!:)

Tzeitel's story in Fiddler on the Roof is that she is Tevye's eldest (of 5) daughter. At the beginning of Fiddler, Yente the matchmaker visits Tevye's household with great news, the rich Butcher Lazar Wolf has set his eyes on Tzeitel. This means that she will have every comfort known to man - rich samovars (which I had to look up - it is a big fancy hookah-looking water warmer for tea), dresses, petticoats, more than one pair of socks (OH the luxuries of early 20th century Russia), fabulous food around every corner, and a maid to help her clean. For her father, who has an obsession with being a wealthy man, this should be amazing prospect.

However, her father has never been too keen on Lazar Wolf. Tevye like to think of himself as an extremely learned man, though, at least as portrayed in the source book, he is more of a man who likes to hear himself talk, spouting off lessons of the Talmud that he invents himself. Lazar, is not the smartest pitchfork in the barn, and therefore Tevye believed he could have an intelligent conversation with Lazar. He also is uneasy about how Lazar spends all day slaughtering animals, and smelling of meat and animal blood and guts. He is also resentful that Lazar can diem an entire ox unkosher because there was a scar on the animals lung or a spot on it's kidney. For a man with five daughters who can barely bring home enough to feed the girls, much less buy them TWO pairs of socks, this seems entirely sacrilegious. (ESPECIALLY since Lazar himself cannot quote the Talmud NEARLY as well as Tevye - or at least that is Tevye's preception.

Tzeitel and her sisters are also very much Daddy's little girls. No one Yente has brought has ever been good enough for any of Tevye's jewels. In the script it mentions that "the last man Yente brought was so old and he was bald!" I think Tzeitel is completely aware of the power her girlish charms have on her Papa, and isn't afraid to use them to ward of the nightmarish prospects Yente brings.

That being said - she also lives in completely fear of Yente. Why? Because she is in love. Completely, hopelessly, legendarily, passionately, and obsessively in love with a tailor boy, whom she knows Yente will never diem an appropriate match for her. He is neither rich nor learned, so Tevye would certainly disapprove. He is a skinny and in many ways completely ridiculous. All that Tzeitel sees is a loving, honest, optimistic, youthful, beautiful man who understands her, supports her, coddles her, dotes on her, and will do everything in his power to make their life together happy on every level. Sure he may not actually be able to defend her in a dark alley, but he will die trying. Motel understands her better than anyone ever could. He has been her confidant since childhood, as far back as she or he can remember. He remembers every triumph and disaster in her life no matter how big or small. The time she ruined the honeycakes for Sabbath supper, the time she tore her dress and was afraid her mama would yell at her, the time she made a crown out of flowers and pretended she was a rich Czarina, the doll she got for her birthday, the day Tevye came home with all of the food from a lucky run in with a very wealthy family (The profits of which would start his dairy business), and everything in between. She remembers the first pair of pants Motel ever sewed, the day he first heard about sewing machines, the days he would help her learn to read (because girls didn't usually get lessons in those days- Tevye was generous with education - but Motel helped behind everyone's back), the cloths he made for her doll out of scraps of cloth from the tailor shop, the time he helped her stop crying over falling down and bruising her knee, and everything in between that. When two people grow so close over so long, it is a crime to break it apart for social norms. An atrocity! But in a world of TRADITION - what could she do.

Tzeitel is not a girl who simply accepts her fate. She is a girl who wants something and goes after it. She has always been that way. She wanted to make the best darn desserts in Anatevka, and by golly she learned. (Conversely, she HATES cleaning, and often tries to trade cooking duties for cleaning duties with her sisters, sometimes more or less successfully.) Being the strong-willed girl she is - she and Motel make a vow to marry one another. They devise a plan where Motel will buy one of these new fangled sewing machines he has been oogling over. WIth this, he will be able to churn out clothing at record rates, and therefore be able to support a family and prove himself and acceptable suitor to Tzeitel! Together, Tzeitel and Motel save up every penny they can find to buy one of these machines. The sooner the better, Yente keeps bringing more and more appalling men! (According to "Daily life in Industrial America" by Husband and O'Loughlin, a sewing machine cost about $50 in AMERICA in 1877. Who knows how many rubles in 1905 Russian that would be. According to the inflation calculator - it is approximately the equivalent of $999.23 dollars which is currently the equivalent of 30102.99 rubles OR 1506.31 in 1877) Considering Tevye made closer to 5 rubles a day - on a good day - this was quite a lot of saving that needed to be done. My math - of course - could be TOTALLLLLLY wrong here. Every day the possibility that Motel's machine will come too late grows stronger. She secretly wishes he would just man up and ask for her hand himself, but she also knows that this goes against generations of tradition she isn't sure that she, herself is ready to break.

Anyhow, This is where we meet Tzeitel when Yente bring news of Lazar Wolf. Tzeitel senses something might be up and begs Motel to ask for her hand. This is the most forward she ahs ever been and the most determined. She has to convince Motel to man up. She does convince him, but unfortunately, he takes actions a little bit too late. (Just like Motel- bless his heart.)

Turns out that the temptations of money - LOTS of money - is too much for Tevye to withstand, and with the help of quite a bit of vodka, he agrees to the match without consulting Tzeitel. Everyone except Golde realizes that Tevye has completely sold out and married Tzeitel to a gross old grimey rich guy who smells of animal guts. (On Hodel has made some rather astute observations about Motel - so at least she is somewhat sympathetic of the lost love.) It is too much for Tzeitel to bear. She begs her Papa to take back the match, even offering to hire herself out as a servant or worse to make up for the money. The prospect of spending the rest of her life digging ditches with prisoners is more appealing that having to spend a day beside Lazar Wolf! (for the record - I couldn't figure out why she offered to dig ditches - since this seemed like a chain gang activity. The only historical record of ditch digging I could find that would be relevant to Jews outside of Moscow is that people dug ditches to collect Beets or to build irrigation systems to service farms. It could also refer to working in gold mines, where people had to dig ditches OR haul rocks - both the empty out the mine and stabilize wheelbarrows. The hauling rocks could also refer to clearing out rock falls. Not sure what the topography of Anatevka was in the early 1900s...) Anyhow, I digress, Tevye resists saying that a deal is a deal, and he already gave his word to lazar. Tzeitel, devastated, throws in the clincher - "Is that more important than I am Papa." Of course, to Tevye, NOTHING is more important to him than his jewels. He loves his daughters so much, and has to cave in.

It is then that Motel mans up - and asks Tevye for hand. In (what Tzeitel perceives as) a splendid display of machismo, bravery, intelligence, wit, and determination, Motel reveals his intentions and will to provide Tzeitel with everything a wife should have. Tzeitel and Motel reveal their pledge (which is not to be taken lightly! They did it in front of Jehovah Himself!!!!!) and, breaking tradition, ask to be married without a matchmaker! Tevye sees the love in their eyes and gives in - and there is happiness and rejoicing throughout the land! (Well - not necessarily -more confusion of why Tevye would trade Lazar in for Motel - but in the land of Motel and Tzeitel - nothing but happiness - from here on out. ) Tzeitel is happy as can be - so long as she has her Motel - she can be poor and starving - but she won't know it - because she is so happy with her Motel. Ah to be in love!

Well - that was way more than I intended to write - and I didn't even get to the wedding - or her feelings towards the Russians (especially Fyedka - who I believe to she open to - she sees he is different from most of the other cossacks - and is ACTIVELY rebelling against their despicable ways- plus - he buys a lot of shirts from Motel - which is nice for feeding the new baby at any rate!:) As for the others - she mostly tries to act invisible - don't trouble them - they won't trouble you -though after the wedding, she is a bit more hostile and paranoid.) or the Czar (Alexander III at her birth but Czar Nicholas for most of the life she can remember - she is disappointed in a leader who allows and even encourages anti-semetic pogroms - and feels helpless that there is no one to appeal to about such deplorable behaviour. That being said, she is more concerned about putting food on her own table than politics (She'll leave politics to Hodel) and therefore follows the Rabbi's blessing for the Czar - may God bless and keep the Czar - far away from us) - or the Rabbi (I think she views the Rabbi the way I view some of my teachers - such as Jana - who I can talk to about anything and she gives wise advice not tainted by any personal investment aside from - she seems to care about me and her other students) or her sisters (She is the eldest and therefor a bit of a teacher in the ways of life to her sisters - she really turns to Motel for her emotional support - I think she confides a bit more in Hodel - more of her equal in age -and respects her intelligence and wise curiosity about the world - and dotes on Chava - but also thinks Chava's view of reality is a bit skewed- and often chastises her for her fanciful daydreaming - which at times can make her seem even younger than she is- perhaps Tzeitel views Chava as being a bit silly - she loves ALL of her sisters dearly - and every action she enacts towards them is filled with sisterly affection - even if at times it is more the sisterly affection that teaches about the harsh reality of the world than hugs and kisses and happiness forever and ever) but that I suppose is a decent starts to the first few scenes she is in. I'm sure there will be much more to come!

I should also add something in about her relationship to Golde. I'm very excited to explore this, because the character descriptions always say that Tzeitel is a chip off of Golde's block - cut of the same fabric - the acorn that didn't land far from the tree. I'm interested to see how Belen, the woman playing Golde in this productions, portrays Golde. My first impression of Golde is harsh, stern, obnoxious, cynical, jaded, pushy, completely stuck in tradition and very money hungry - none of which are attributes i see in Tzeitel. As far as I can tell - Golde did very few things in her life FOR love - although she did grow to love Tevye. Everything Golde does seems more out of duty - she does LOVE her daughters - I don't mean to imply that she doesn't - but I don't see her being happy as a mermaid with a string of pearls with a poor tailor just because she loves him. She is always pushing Tevye to make money this way or that - and to be wise with money. (Even in the song MATCHMAKER there is the line 'for Papa make him a SCHOLAR for Mama make him RICH AS A KING.) As far as I can tell - Tzeitel doesn't give a hoot about money - she accepts it is a rare commodity and is used to (and even delights in) making a small kopeck go a long way. So this will be an interesting place for character development!:)

Tomorrow is going to be three hours of blocking the opening number TRADITION! (and some alto 2 harmonizing! I tremble with fear!)

Our schedule

Our stage manager is super organized and sent us a complete schedule from now until our closing night. Amazing. I am always impressed by people who can juggle schedules of 53 people with such dexterity!

My non-theatre employers are thankful for this as well - as they can plan around my schedule with the greatest of ease now that they have super advanced notice.

Three cheers for the stage manager!:)

Welcome toTzeitel

I wanted to begin a separate blog to document my time play Tzeitel in the Village Light Opera's "Fiddler on the Roof."

It is not easy treading the pavements of New York as a non-equity actor. Especially in this economy, when patrons and audiences have less money to invest in and attend live arts of any kind. (In fact, I hear the moon program "Constellation" was just cut entirely from the National Budget! If NASA is being cut off - there is little hope for the arts to gain more national subsidy.)

Occasionally, we discover a marvelous organization right here in Manhattan that allows non-equity actors of all different backgrounds, training, professions, ages, and levels of experience to gather together and put on a quality production in the city. Friends family, agents, casting directors, and die-hard fans and alumni of the organizations, can come and see a cast of players performing their hearts out and having a blast on stage. The Village Light Opera is on one of these organization.

Each Fall, "VLOG" presents a Gilbert and Sullivan show and each spring is presents a musical. I was introduced to VLOG when I was cast this past Fall as a soprano in the chorus of "Starship Pinafore." It was my first time singing in a chorus since summer camp in middle school - where - ironically - I sang soprano in the "HMS Pinafore" at Interlochen Arts Camp. My experience was very colorful, and I made some great friends, learned how to harmonize, and got to wear a gorgeous pink dress that resembled the princess regalia I dreamed of wearing in elementary school.

I decided to try out for the Spring Musical - Fiddler on the Roof - and - beyond my wildest dreams, was cast as Tzeitel! I have always had a bit of an inferiority complex that I was only being called back at singing audition because of the extensive dance experience on my resume. To be cast as a lead because of my singing and acting was a complete surprise, and I am grateful and humbled to be among the talented members of this cast - many of whom have music degrees from NYU and Manhattan School of Music. I have so much to learn from them, and they graciously help me in areas where I am weak - such as reading music.

After I got done jumping around and squealing with excitement, and treating myself to massive amounts of ice cream and hot chocolate, I was suddenly filled with a tremendous sense of fear - of not wanting to disappoint - of wanting to live up to expectations. So many great people wanted the role, and could have easily been chosen, and now I have to live up to what people expect. My voice teacher is always telling me that my musical theatre idol, Sierra Boggess, is constantly feeling the pressures of expectation and not wanting to let anyone down. I can't even imagine the level on which she must be feeling these emotions, seeing as she is about to open Andrew Lloyd Webber's new show - Love Never Dies. At any rate, I can now completely sympathize with her.

During the first read through of Act I, I had to sing in front of the 53 person strong cast, by myself. Not only did I have to sing - I had to belt. For the past year (since I started taking lesson) I have ben defined by my high legit soprano voice, and taunted for my failed attempts to belt! It am floored that I was cast as a character who belts. But - there I was. Belting away. I got so excited I forgot to follow the conductor - a lovely, patient, intelligent, knowledgeable woman named Debbie. She started laughing when I finally looked up and we got on the same page. I was mortified, but the accompanist came up to me afterwards and said that I sounded really good. I definitely needed that encouragement! It was also fabulous to have a feast of traditional Jewish food at the end of the read-through. Nothing like latkes to help a cast bond!

The next day we had our first music rehearsals. I was called in to work on "Matchmaker." The other two sisters get to sing in their beautiful operatic voices, and I have to belt. I jealously longed to be in their chairs, with Debby coaxing, be more operatic. Innocently and hopefully I asked, "Do you want me to be more operatic too?" Of course, she said no - mine was to be belted. Ah well - it was worth a try. It's actually an amazing opportunity to be forced into DOING (not TRYING to do - but DOING) something that I have always thought I couldn't do. Wonderful! I am so grateful that they see something in me I have never seen - and are bullying it out. I do best when I'm bullied. If people let me wallow - I'll wallow until the end of time. We also had to harmonize a little at the end. Since I am so used to singing first soprano, and don't read music, singing the middle part was intensely difficult for me. Fortunately, I had my trusty recorder, and had the wonderfully helpful accompanist record my part for me to practice at home. I also recorded the rehearsal so I could remember everything we worked on. I had rhythm problems at the beginning (Rhythm is a constant foe of mine!) and pronounced some words in too contemporary a style. I have to round out my vowel to avoid sounding "too American Idol." Words such as "Handsome" are especially trying!

Our first week of rehearsals concluded with a read through of Act II, a music session with the entire cast, and the blocking of about 32 bars of TRADITION! (the opening number.) I was assigned to the alto 2 part in the chorus, which struck me as an incredibly daunting task. Luckily, many of my music reading Pinafore friends were also in the alto 2 section, and were very gracious in helping me learn our part. It is also a great chance for me to hang out with them, since normally I'm "blocked" away from them - with my family or my Motel.

The cast is fabulous. I love the guy playing Motel. He is lovely, funny, enthusiastic, and told me I'd make a good Ariel in the Little Mermaid. What more could a girl want. My Chava is also a Little Mermaid fan, and showed me her Ariel lunchbox! Bonding at first sight!:) (For anyone who doesn't know me, I have a very intense love of everything Disney - especially "The Little Mermaid.")

We have yet to see Tevye in rehearsal, but otherwise the is incredibly talented and I am incredibly impressed with how well everyone is inhabiting their roles. I was especially impressed by the woman playing Fruma Sarah! Fruma Sarah has always been a dream role of mine, ever since I was a little girl re-inacting Fiddler on the Rood in my friend Donna's living room. Our Fruma Sarah will be legendary!

I picked up a copy of "Tevye the Dairyman" - the book which Fiddler is based off of. It is a great read, and it's surprising how closely the text of the musical resembles the text of the book. The most important insight to Tzeitel that I gained from reading the book is that - she is happy as a clam so long as she has her Motel - and she is so happy with her Motel that she doesn't notice she and her husband are starving. She also apparently makes fabulous desserts - especially honey cakes. I'm assuming that would mean her favorite household chore is cooking. She isn't so fond of the cleaning. Sounds like someone I know - oh - wait - that would be me!:)

Our director, Tony, is constantly encouraging us to engage in outside research and immerse ourselves in the culture and the time period. Well - I do love to do research. I'll let you know if I learn anything especially exciting and/or helpful.

I did learn that Tzeitel is the diminutive of Sarah and means "Princess."

That concludes week 1 of Tzeitel. I can't wait to put more of the show up on it's feet during week 2!