Spring - is almost in the air...

Today was better - much better - I'm not sure why.

This whole week I've been feeling suffocated and unmotivated - but I woke up this morning excited to go to class. Maybe it is because Spring is in the air - barely - but it's there - maybe it's because my apt. is super clean - so it feels like there is space - maybe (and probably) it's because I'm finally taking steps to join AFTRA - and then EQUITY and this awful "not getting seen" business will be over - but I woke up - excited and happy.

I went to Patti's class. Patti asked me how I was - and I said - a little too excited that Johnny Weir's coach was in class - and Patti said "Stephane e-mailed me the other day." I wouldn't be surprised if Stephane never e-mailed her - but she just gets a kick out of seeing my reaction - lol - girlish teenaged screaming and bouncing. I apparently had a good class - Patti gave mucho complements - which makes the SECOND time this week a teacher gave me compliments about theatre dance class. (Nancy my ballet teacher apparently saw me in a class - and told me I looked really good and that my legs looked really long doing that style. lol.) Nancy's compliment was especially meaningful - since she doesn't exactly dole out the compliments - she is notorious for being brutally honest.

(side note - speaking of teachers who who are brutally honest - Yoda was wearing a t-shirt yesterday which said "I'm sorry. I forgot you were an idiot." Laughter was had by all.:))

I met with three wonderful roommate possibilities. I still hope JP will work out - but if he doesn't - there is hope! Fingers crossed.

Being "put-in"

Alright - new plan. Any of the research and original ideas I had about my character apparently are useless - and I have to view this entire show as a "put in" - as though I were an understudy going on - since apparently the only direction I get is "immitate me" or "Imitate her" - so - instead of having brilliant ideas and coming up with my own Tzeitel - I will take this as "put in" practice -heck - it I had replaced Ariel - I would have to do exactly what Sierra did - so I guess here I have to do exactly what some imaginary human in the director's head did - and come up with my own motivations for why I must pick up a candlestick here - and gesture there - or spend the entire scene yelling/ (Seriously - what director says - now in this scene I want you to yell. Yell more. Yell more! - or "and now I want you to cry" - and completely foregoes any sort of motivation or understanding of the scene - what the characters want and/or are trying to achieve - and figure out the best way of getting it. "Cry now" is possibly the worst direction in the history of directing. GAH! So - I have to be me - in Woman in White - explaining to the understudies - WHY they have to cry here - and come up with the motivation and explain it and get it out of them - only them is me - if that makes any sense.) Soooooooooooooooooooo frustrating. I don't even get to stand how feels natural. I have to imitate Golde - who is shaped NOTHING like me - it's not even possible for me to stand like her - other than both being female - there is nothing in common - she is about 4'10 - maybe 200 pounds? Smuggles watermelons. Short arms compared to her torso. I have ridiculously long skinny arms, 5'6 (yes boys and girls - I was officially measured - I come in at 5'5 and 3/4.) - 130 pounds - smuggle apricots - small oranges at best - definitely not watermelons - I look ridiculous trying to walk and stand like Golde. But hey - if it was a put in - I'd have to do it. What a fabulous opportunity to practice being put in for a lead. Who knows - I might have to do it one day.

I have to learn to keep my director and my actress separate - but sometimes - it is harder than others.

Low Key Tzeitel Week

No rehearsals since Wednesday. Very uneventful Tzeitel week. Worked on matchmaker some in my living room. Trying to get the "Yente" impersonation down - and get comfortably with my low "manly" tones. (These are quickly being a huge joke - even mothers around my dance studio- who hear me sing as I buff floors - will say something like I hear you are an alto two - can you even talk that low?) Oh dear Oh dear. The notes are getting there though - the key is to relax into them!:)

1.3 and 1.6

Today's rehearsal was interesting - as about twenty seconds before I walked in the door - I got a call from the boy playing Motel saying he had suddenly fallen ill and wouldn't be coming in. This was going to make my job for the a wee bit more difficult - as we were supposed to block all of our scenes together - including what is supposed to be my penultimate emotional moment where I beg my father to let me marry Motel instead of Lazar Wolf. I walk in and tell the stage manager Motel won't be coming (and we are both confused as to why he called me and not her), and look over my script. During which time I realize - Tevye isn't there either. So - essentially we didn't block the doozy of a scene - because it would be me with two imaginary actors.

We did block a scene and a half though - and I think they went very well. The director wants me to mimick Golde more - which is daunting. Golde is not a Disney Princess. I have perfected the Disney princess - old poor Russian Jewish mother of the lat late 19th early 20th century...not so much. I think I made some progress though - which made me happy. Apparently I did a good job of look as though I were about to burst into tears as well - which is good. Crying on cue is another obstacle of mine. I'm sure I can do it - I just get so afraid and heady that I tense up and end up phoning in an untruthful performance. We want to relax - and let - (as Stephane Lambiel so eloquently said) - my true sprit shine through. (I credit Stephane with that - but really Mary tells it to me in every lesson as well - in those exact words.)

So over all pretty productive rehearsal. Everyone is nice, kind, giving, supportive, and the environment feels safe and comfortable. Which is exactly what you want.

The Dream and Sabbath Prayer

Got to see "The Dream" on it's feet for the first time. Very impressive. I love that scene. I think it is one of the greatest musical theatre scenes of all time.

We blocked "Sabbath Prayer" which really wasn't too tough - I stand still and contemplate the Sabbath.

I even made it home in time to watch the final 12 ladies in skating! HOOOORAY!

Miracle Worker

The actor playing Motel acquired free tickets to see THE MIRACLE WORKER on Broadway starring Abigail Breslin (of Little Miss Sunshine movie fame.) We went as a Tzeitel Motel bonding exercise.

The show was stupendous and I highly recommend you go if you get a chance. Beautifully designed and directed and stupendously performed. I loved and felt very deeply for each and everyone of the characters - and tears definitely welled up in my eyes when Helen learned to spell "water."

That being said - a pretty laid back low key Fiddler weekend. Just worked a bit on the low "belt." I have to remember that belting is not NASAL it is CHEST. My yiddish accent for the Yente impersonation definitely needs work.

Also - our tickets have officially gone on sale - so be sure to buy yours soon! www.vlog.org

Get 'em while they're hot!:)

Blocking Day 1

First day of blocking - Act I.i I forgot how difficult it is to act honestly and truthfully while everyone is running around with scripts and pencils in hand - trying to remember where to move and when.

It was the first day I was disappointed in my work. I had done all my homework, was off-book, and literally had a voice lesson a few hours prior where we worked on the music. I just got very nervous and self conscious and reverted to my "safety" tricks - or what Mary calls - my "bullshit." Bad acting, poor pitchy singing (and of course busting into high soprano instead of chest voice), and wooden movements.

Oh well, what can you do. It's the first day of blocking - there is lots of room for improvement!:)